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Reddit users slam man who tricked girlfriend into eating food she hates: 'Violation of trust,' says expert

A Reddit user asked others to weigh in on if he was in the wrong for lying to his girlfriend about the contents of a spring roll. His girlfriend does not eat shrimp but ate the spring rolls.

People on Reddit lambasted a man after he lied to his girlfriend about what was in the food they ordered. 

"AITA for not telling my girlfriend her food had shrimp in it," asked Reddit user "Every-Community9492" in an April 10 post on Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" (AITA) subreddit. 

In the post, the writer explained that he's a 23-year-old man with a 19-year-old girlfriend who "is a picky eater." 

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"She doesn't like fish or pork," he wrote, later clarifying that she is not allergic to either item. 

"On Saturday we went out to eat in Chinatown with my friend and his girlfriend."

At the restaurant, the group ordered the spring rolls as an appetizer, he said.

"My [girlfriend] asked if [the spring rolls] had shrimp in them and we said no," said Every-Community9492. 

"This was a lie, but she wouldn't know the difference when she ate them."

The girlfriend then proceeded to "happily eat" the spring rolls when they arrived, to the amusement of Every-Community9492, his friend and his friend's girlfriend, he noted.

"I couldn't believe she had no idea there was shrimp in the spring rolls," he said. "It was minced, but still."

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The whole situation was "pretty funny," wrote the man about what happened.

"At the end of the meal we told her the spring rolls had shrimp in them. She got upset at me and now I am the bad guy even though my friend was in on it, too," wrote the boyfriend.

"She is saying that's not cool to mislead her like that and trick her into eating something she doesn't want to eat," he added, saying that "she makes no sense," as she ate the spring rolls without protest. 

"So obviously she likes shrimp," wrote Every-Community9492. 

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The man asked others on Reddit if he was in the wrong — or if perhaps his girlfriend was "being too sensitive and needs to grow up." 

Fox News Digital attempted to contact the Reddit poster for further comment.

Psychologist Natalie Bernstein of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, told Fox News Digital that the conflict goes deeper than just food.

"In this scenario, the issue isn't so much about being tricked into eating different foods, but rather the violation of trust," said Bernstein.

"It is not up to the boyfriend to decide whether or not the girlfriend tries new foods — why does he care, anyway," she said. 

"Part of being in a healthy relationship is accepting the partner rather than judging the partner and especially not manipulating the partner to conform to your own ideals," she added. 

"The fact that he preplanned the trip and enlisted his friends to go along with it as well says a lot about his lack of respect for his girlfriend's preferences or needs," she also said.

"It's disrespectful," she said bluntly.

If the man wanted his girlfriend to eat a variety of foods, he took the wrong approach, Bernstein also said.

"Rule number one in reducing picky eating is not to force the person to eat foods," she advised. "This creates a negative association and unnecessary pressure to comply."

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"Typically people don't respond well to pressure and prefer to feel empowered to make their own choices," she also said. 

Reddit users, by and large, agreed with Bernstein that the man was in the wrong in this situation.

On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--hole Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").

Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.

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The vast majority of the more than 2,000 replies to the man's original post labeled him as "YTA." 

"YTA, obviously. Did you think, ‘Hey, I lied to my girlfriend,’ was going to go any other way?" said Reddit user "7hr0wn" in the top-upvoted reply.

Another Reddit user accused the man of immaturity.

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"YTA. Funny that you think your girlfriend is the one who ‘needs to grow up’ while you and your friends sit there smirking over lying about what someone is eating like you’re junior high kids in a school cafeteria," said "BeJane759" in another top comment. 

"Don’t lie to people about what’s in their food," wrote Redditor "KaraAuden." 

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"Also, you all grinning at each other as she ate it was some weird group power trip," said KaraAuden. 

"You’re bullies, and I hope she gets out."

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